Today I am sitting on my bed. Looking exactly the way you would expect a college senior to look. Then again maybe not, we all have different ideas of perfection or imperfection and each day we struggle with our own warped ideals. Funnily enough I am wearing the exact opposite of what I picture someone else in my position and field of study wears while lounging at home between job interviews. Wrapped in sheets on a bed that hasn't been made in months with books and electronic devices strewn around like booby traps ready to wake you from a good nights sleep, which rarely happens for me anyway, I wear an old t-shirt that belonged to my grandfather.
My pajamas are a rotating wardrobe that I inherited from both grandfathers and not once do I consider changing the habit. But part of me can't help but think that shouldn't someone in the fashion industry look put together? Matching pajama top and bottoms with perfectly messy buns and a room where she unpacks after returning from a trip, doesn't use her box fan as a drying rack for her towels and you can actually sit on the futon? That's what I see right now as I evaluate my room but not only do I see the mess I see proof that I have people who love me. The shirt on my back is proof right there but you look to the left and you will find two cork boards overflowing with photos and letters and drawings from family and friends. Even though those don't fit the mold of a perfect fashionista I love them and never in a million years would I take them down. So that brings me back to my earlier assumption that people in the fashion industry are flawless. They aren't, I certainly am not. And with this glimpse into my fears and my imperfect world I want to change the way you see the fashion industry. The blood sweat and tears that drive the business and drive the people in that business isn't just what you see in the media or in a magazine photo of some pop stars perfectly messy purse or 'lounge wear'. And the sad thing is they aren't perfect but they feel this pressure to pretend to be because thats what YOU want, we as consumers and readers WANT to believe these people are perfect it gives us something to work towards, but doesn't it also discredit the imperfect worlds we built for ourselves? I am working on accepting myself the way I am and as I prepare for my second job interview of the day I will keep reminding myself that even though I don't fit the mold, I will still be successful. Because I refuse to fail.
Whew, that was difficult but I want to be more open with you readers in hopes that it helps me face my challenges head on. If you liked this post let me know and I will keep them coming and if you didn't like it well that's okay too there are plenty of other posts for you to read on my blog!